Christmas Eve Post

 I think I have this whole Christmas thing figured out. Do all the work early, so when Christmas Eve rolls around you can sit and chill. I am lovin' it. I will cook dinner later on since we won't have family dinner tomorrow because I have to work... and, no, don't feel bad.  It is part of healthcare and I will get time and a half, and hopefully there will be no trauma's. Anyway, back to the Christmas thing. Every year it is the same, the same date, lots of people follow the same traditions, customs, but yet, when it gets here it always seems new. Midnight Mass is always stirring, the stars (if they are out) are a little brighter. Our  hopes for the days to come are maybe a little bit more positive, heck., maybe someday we will really know "Peace on Earth".  Every year, even though Christmas is the same, it is always new exciting and wonderful (as in full of wonder).

Then I started thinking about doing Tahoe again. Will it be as exciting and thrilling as it was last year? Will the dinner be as inspirational? Will I raise as much money? Will I be a better rider? Will I be able to get up the switchbacks faster, do Spooner without stopping a gazillion times to take in the view? Will training be easier? Will I get bored doing the same rides as last year?

Then it hit me! Beginners Mind!  I need my beginners mind! I first learned of Beginners Mind a few years ago in massage school. It made sense to me then, and perhaps it makes even more sense now.

Beginners Mind, or Shoshin (初心) is a Zen Buddhist concept, it means having an attitude or openness, an eagerness, and a lack of preconceived notions when studying a subject.  Even if you are studying at an advanced level, keep your attitude open, see something, experience something as if you have never seen it or experienced it before.

Shunryu Suzuki said it best when he said: In the beginner's mind there are many possibilities, in the expert's mind there are few.


I went down to the cellar and dug out the book from massage school and started to read up on Beginners Mind. I came upon some of the following words, that really put it into perspective for me. Not only in reference to Christmas, riding Tahoe, raising money etc.. but also in reference to starting a New Year.

"So to begin, we must all empty our cups of all the preconceived ideas, concepts, techniques and methods that prevent us from receiving the new. This seems like a simple thing to do, but can be quite difficult in practice. At first we think we are emptying our cups but as we drink from the new knowledge we detect residual tastes of the "old". Sometimes this new mixture can be sweet, like adding honey to tea, but sometimes even a little residue can curdle the whole mix, like adding lemon juice to milk. We must not only empty our cups, but make sure we have a "clean receptacle" so we may taste the "true essence" of the new knowledge". Darren Hansen.

Another aspect of developing the beginners mind revolves around getting rid of the "Been There, Done That" attitude. How many times have you heard that one! Been there, done that, got the T-shirt to prove it. Really now! So, yeah, we have all been there and done that, but did you really see the big picture? Or, did you only see the pieces of the whole?

When it comes to Tahoe, I have been there. I have seen the scenery, ridden the ride. I raised the money. I was inspired and accomplished. I was touched by the number of people out in support of the LLS, and of the number of people that were there in honor or in memory of someone touched by leukemia, lymphoma or myeloma.  When it comes to Tahoe, I have done that. I felt my legs burn getting up the switchbacks, battled the headwind on the way out of Truckee, enjoyed the sandwich at King's Beach and slowly turned the pedals over trying to conquer Spooner and yes, had a scary flat tire on the way down the biggest 'hill' I even want to ride a bike down (thank you very much!).

Yup folks, been there, done that. So this time, I am going to go out there with my cup empty. I am letting go of what last year's ride was like.  Just like this Christmas is a new Christmas. I have that clean receptacle to enjoy this Christmas for what it is, to learn and to experience it with new eyes. I will do the same with Tahoe. I plan on enjoying Tahoe 2011 for what it is, for seeing the big picture, not just the pieces of it I saw last year.I am going to ride Tahoe 2011 (Ambbr 11) with a sense of awe, and a feeling of excitement (much like this Christmas). I will learn or see something new even though I have been there and done that. And.. after my cup is full I will empty it again by drinking deeply and savoring it's wonderful taste.

Enjoy your Christmas with a Beginners Mind.

Peace (hopefully on Earth) and as always .. Tailwinds.
Karen

Pics from the Anniversary Ride :)

Barkhamsted Reservoir

Barkhamsted Reservoir

The long and the short of it... Billy and Keith

Billy and Karen

Pre ride :)

Happy Anniversary Dear Synapse

Bike is officially put away for the winter. Sadness. I miss riding. I really miss being outside.

I guess my last ride, was my last ride (for this year). The Saturday after Thanksgiving was the one year anniversary of my first ride on my new bike, so it seemed only fitting that Bill, Keith and me, would set out and ride the same route we did last year.

That first ride was really special. I had flat pedals, no cages or cleats, I rode in sneakers. I didn't have a bike jacket, I wore one of Tyler's underarmors, a sweatshirt and my "Final Four" windbreaker. I had an old pair of weightlifting gloves that did the job for my hands. I didn't have any real bike shorts, but I did have a pair of knickers with padding that I wore for spin class, so they were what I had to cover my bottom half.

My makeshift bike clothing was only surpassed by my total lack of knowledge about my bike, and biking in general. Bill pulled out his tire pump and asked me if I needed to pump up my tires. My answer... NO! The bike is brand new, I just picked it up from the bike shop the week before, why would I need to pump the tires!?!?!?! I had not yet learned the Team in Training mantra "pump before you ride".

We left the parking area and started out from the parking area in Unionville, and headed out to Collinsville. We stopped at LaSalle Market for tea and muffins, then continued on. The hill on RT 44, heading up 219, going by the turnoff for Ski Sundown, around the Barkhamsted Reservoir, stopping for some pictures, riding back down the other side and back out to 44. We made a second stop at LaSalle and then headed home.

It really struck me how much easier the ride was this year, November 2010, as opposed to November 2009. The hills were easier, I kept up with Bill and Keith (for the most part). I am much more stable on the bike, I know how to shift, I can move over in traffic to take a turn, I can lead a pace line, I know how to draft. And, most importantly, I know how to dress! A lot has changed, and all for the better. What a difference a year makes!

Tailwinds,
Karen

Alfredo's Road to Remission

This post is going to tell you the story of someone other than myself. This person's story reaffirms in me why I am still sitting on this God-awful bike seat (okay so it is not as God-awful as the last one, but still pretty hard), and why I am going to ride Lake Tahoe again this year.
Last weekend, I went to visit NYC with some friends. Our big goal for the day was to have brunch and then hit Junior's in Times Square for a piece of cheesecake. We were successful on both counts. Brunch was great and the cheescake.. OH. MY. GOD. It was an M.O. (and if any of you need to know what an M.O. is ask my friend Marie.. she works for Ortho Clinical Diagnostics and she is the one that coined the phrase). Anyway, my friend Bill had invited his friend Alfredo and his sister Aileen to join us for brunch. Bill knows Alfredo through his wife Cindy who... so on and so on.. lets just say they are family friends. I knew that Alfredo was a survivor and that he was going to run the ING NYC marathon the next day. I was excited about meeting some new people, but not as excited as I was about cheesecake.

Alfredo and Aileen showed up at brunch, we talked about the marathon, and Alfredo's plan for running the race, what kind of time he hoped for etc. Alfredo was running as a member of TNT and he had raised over $12,000! Way to go Alfredo!
Talk eventually turned to the disease that Alfredo is fighting. I asked him how he found out he was sick. His answer was honest, and rather disturbing. It started with a cough. A cough that he thought was just due to a cold or the change of seasons. But when the cough didn't go away, and he started coughing up blood, he knew he needed to check it out. So, he headed home (Wallingford), and they found a tumor the size of a football in his chest and was diagnosed in November of 2008 with Stage IV-B Hodgkins Lymphoma. Stage IV is the most advanced stage of Hodgkins Lymphoma, how could this happen to a 27 year old kid?

Chemotherapy lasted almost a year, and ended with Alfredo getting a stem cell transplant. The only exercise he could do was to take small steps around the hospital floor, IV pole in tow. Eventually the news was good. Alfredo was (and is) in remission. Eventually the small difficult steps became a walk, which turned into a jog, which turned into a run.

Last weekend, on November 7, 2010 Alfredo ran, and finished the ING NYC marathon. Alfredo raised over $12,000 for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. He gave back. He gave back to help others that are fighting now. He gave back so that maybe someday the word 'remission' with be replaced with the word 'cure'.

After Alfredo and Aileen left to go pick up his bib for the marathon and we left to make our way to Junior's, I thought about what an honor it was to meet this young man. A kid with a big wide grin and a warmth and good humor about him. A kid that handled with courage something none of us want to face.

This year, I will ride Tahoe in celebration. In celebration of Alfredo's remission. In celebration of all the strides research has made in fighting blood related cancers. In celebration of my cycle team, because together we can do more than any one of us can do alone. And hopefully, someday, in celebration of a cure.

Tailwinds,
Karen

Long Time, No Blog

It has been ages since I have sat myself down long enough to put a post up here on Talewinds. So here goes... my summer in a nutshell.

Tyler was home from college. Grocery bill went up, toilet was constantly plugged and my house smelled of Axe. All the time. Electric bill went up, water bill went up. The garbage can was always full. He is back at college and I miss having him home. I do not miss his dirty baseball uniform.

Kelly had a blood clot in her lung. Serious. She has recovered, but is on Coumadin. Old peoples medicine. We found that she is a mutant. Or, I should say, she has the Factor V Leiden mutation, which makes her prone to clotting. Not good. No more oral contraceptives or any estrogen based product. She is back in the saddle, riding her horses, rescuing her racehorses, and 'just being' (Kelly).

Matt made an appearance in July. New girlfriend in tow. I like her. I like the him he has grown into. I like her with him. She brings him out of his shell a little bit. To any of you with a son that is mildly defiant, not into school and always does when you say don't.. there is hope. I feel like Matt has become a friend. Mommy likes.

I am still pedaling! Yes!!! Training for a new ride, a FLAT ride! It will be on October 9, and originates in Salisbury, MD. I thought that a FLAT ride would be easy peasy. Hah! Was I wrong or what. Seems as though on FLAT rides you have to pedal the whole time. Coach always joked that Tahoe is 50% downhill (okay so it is 50% uphill), but still, on the downhill you can coast some. On the flat, you pedal. All the time. Anyway, even though it will be a FLAT ride, it is supposed to be very pretty and circles around and out to Asateague Island. I am excited and hope to see some of the ponies. Maybe I can bring one home ;)

Promise to post again soon, about the team and the training.. and oh yes... my plan to do Tahoe again.

Talewinds!

Biked it ~ Liked it

Two sentences (or phrases) sum up the experience.

1. Biked it ~ Liked it!
My bike is a kick ass piece of machinery, and I love it. The area is really, really, really gorgeous. I have never worked so hard, or struggled so much in one day in my life, I have also never felt so accomplished in my life. I can ride up hills... I can ride down hills... although I still really hate riding down hills.

2. GO TEAM!
My team has become like family, and each of us wants to see the others succeed. . We were so supported, by the staff, by each other, by perfect strangers. We were all united... to get closer to a cure, one mile at a time. On an endurance event, support along the way is critical. The cow bells, the signs, the people cheering us on, the man in the SPAM hat, all served to keep me going. One person can't do this alone, but together we can do anything. I really, really, really miss my team. Charryse, Jen, Cathy... I have faith in the future because of the strong young women you are. You amaze me. Viktoria.... you are not only a survivor, you are one tough cookie that showed me age is only a number. Henry, thank you so much for not making me change my own flat tire, and also for understanding when I entered the BM zone (Bite me zone)


What I found...... my strength, my courage, empathy...... when someone has faith in you, it is easier to have faith in yourself.......life is tough, we need to stick together.....Spooner is done, stick a fork in it........challenge yourself, you might be surprised at the outcome.

We will find a cure for these cancers, someday, we have to.

On to the next adventure... Seagull Century in Maryland, in October. Stay tuned.

A Bloomin' Good Time!

Last Sunday (May 23) I rode in my first organized large ride. The Bloomin' Metric. A 100 KM (about 62 mile) ride beginning in Norwalk, CT and winding it's way through some really pretty countryside, past large estates, lots of hills for those of us so inclined (hahaha... get it?), and what seemed to be a million riders, most of them passing me at a high rate of speed.

Despite being with my team and trying to stay within a few minutes of my pals from the "Blue group" (slow), and the huge number of people around at times, I found myself quite alone. I am not complaining, I rather liked it. It gave me time to think, to take in the view and there was no one around when I let out a huge snarl because I was in the wrong gear when starting a rather large hump in the road.. okay it was a hill. (To quote Coach Bob, "It's a HILL, GET OVER IT!!!" (hahaha.... get it?)

I found people to follow, my thanks to the guy in the Dos Equis (XX) jersey, he was fun and easy to follow. and if I needed a diversion all I had to do was yell "Hey Dos Equis, CAR BACK"... and he would give me a friendly wave.

Once had my horse (okaaaayyyyy... my bike) headed down the backstretch, there were a couple of times I got teary eyed. This wasn't my big event, but it was still an accomplishment. I thought about my heroes, those that are battling leukemia and lymphoma and winning. I thought about the ones that have not won the battle, and those that don't even know that a battle lies ahead of them.

Rolling into the parking lot, finishing the ride, seeing the rest of my blue group finish filled me with pride in how far WE (yes WE) have come. But, more importantly, the ride itself, getting there was something to be savored.

Peace,
Karen

What I learned on the 80 mile ride

1) Don't even put your leg over the bar without a helmet on your head.
2) Always keep "Our Lady" in the bike bag.
3) Enjoy the scenery
4) I can ride over a grated swing bridge with a strong cross wind and not fall on my keester
5) Sometimes, if you look in the right direction, at precisely the right time, nature shows you something spectacular
6) I still HATE snakes, even if they are dead in the middle of the road
7) If you hit a squirrel going downhill at 34 mph... there is dinner. Tastes like chicken.
8)When you have to call 911 remember not to get frustrated because they are going to ask you the same questions twice.
9) when someone is hurt it seems like forever for an ambulance to come.
10) ICE.. In case of emergency... program it in your phone.
11) Sometimes, the people you really need are put right in front of you.. like the doctor and nurse that stopped to help.. what are the chances, I mean really, what are the chances that a doctor and nurse would be there when my teammates had an accident.
12) The kindness of strangers can be relied on. Truly.

Hallelujah!

Hallelujah! I am loving my new bike seat. Yes, I used the L-word. Love, Love, LOVE my new bike seat...
The original seat that came on the bike was great on the ischial tuberosities (sits bones), but not so much on the soft tissue. The second seat I tried was better, but still not great. I kept having to stop pedaling to readjust my position, and every time I did, I would hear Coach in the background telling me to keep pedaling... how do I tell him politely that I have to rearrange my lady parts? Then.. there were the blood blisters. Not good. Unhappy hoohoo.
So, enter saddle number 3. Not the most expensive by any means, and probably not the lightest, but so far, the most comfortable. The cut away part is just in the right spot and it seems to be just the right size for my ischial tuberosities, and I like the little cut out in the back for my tailbone. I have only ridden it twice, 25 miles last night, and only about 15 tonight, but just the feeling of being on it, I know it will be fine on longer rides. And... I have a happy hoohoo.

On another happy note, fundraising is at $5820.00... wondering if I can make it an even 6K?

Decisions, decisions, decisions

Since starting this training for the Century Ride, there has been a lot of stuff that has gotten in the way.. just 'stuff' that needs me to make some sort of decision that can have an effect on how I ride, how far I can go, and avoiding the bonk. How much do I eat before a ride, what do I eat before a ride, what do I drink.. drink too much and there are too many potty stops, not enough and I bonk. What do I drink? Water is good, but I also need to replace electrolytes and I need sugar.. something I had given up along with simple carbs and replaced with complex carbs. So many decisions!

The drinking thing seemed to give me a real problem. Coaches were pretty clear, one bottle of water, one bottle of Gatorade or similar product. So, I struck out to find something I liked and would fit the bill. Oh.. and did I mention that since I am a klutz, I can not reach down, get a bottle of drink, raise it to my lips and keep the bike up on two wheels? Well, I can't do it. Practice or no practice, can't do it.. so enter the Camelbak. Yes, folks, I wear my water proudly on my back with a long tube I can just shove in between my teeth, bite down and voila! water! The Camelbak is the next best thing to having an IV pole attached to my bike.

Water problem solved.

Now, the Gatorade problem. Gatorade is too sweet, don't like it. And it doesn't like me much either. I tried G2, less sugar, still not really fond of it, I tried the powders and mixed them myself and over-diluted them a bit, still didn't work. I tried a couple of different versions and brands, all with the same effect (not something to talk about in polite company-- and you can't have that going on in the middle of a 100 mile bike ride).

Then I hit upon the perfect solution (no pun intended). A friend mentioned to me that her husband (a runner) drinks Kool-Aid. So, I picked up some of those little packages of Cherry flavored Kool-Aid, the kind you add your own sugar to (cheap!), I made up a pitcher of it, adding a lot less sugar than the recipe calls for, hmmm tasty!

Now, I just had to solve the electrolyte issue. I found a bottle of this stuff in Whole Foods, called Endure. Now, get your minds out of the gutter, it isn't what you are thinking at all... it is for enhancing your performance.. er.... I mean, it is full of performance enhancing electrolytes. There we go, back on track. It has Na+, K+, Cl-, Mg+, and SO4. 16 drops in 16 ounces of my Kool-Aid and I am good to go. So far, no bonk, no cramps and associated issues, and no Charley Horses in my legs, and it costs a whole lot less! One big decision out of the way. And.. I can put it in my checked luggage so I can make my own supply while in Tahoe. Hurdle overcome!

Summary of last Saturdays Cookie Ride:
7.5 mile, 3% grade out to Torrington.
2 long climbs with an average 6% grade (with some short sections up to 12%) on Route 20.
Over 5000 feet of climbing over 65 miles.

The fact that I finished is amazing to me.... even though I feel like it was not a complete success because I had to stop on the big hills, but I didn't walk, I just rested and then got back on and went on.

Karen Conquered the Cookie Ride

Phew!Hill after hill.. I thought they would never end. From Rt 202 heading into Torrington, to Rt 20 coming out of Riverton the hills just kept coming.
65.8 miles
Max heart rate: 178 (a little too high)
Average heart rate 115.
Max speed 31.5 (really good for 'she who is afraid to go downhill').
Feeling very accomplished.
I hit the 'dumb' zone at about mile 63, couldn't remember if I had passed the Coach or not, (I did). I hit the 'can't go another blessed foot' zone as I pulled into the parking lot, at mile 65.8, but the kindest, greatest, bestest friend put the bike on the car for me and fed me a piece of Juniors cheesecake from NYC (great to have friends like that isn't it!).
Throughout the ride, I kept thinking (pardon the language) "these hills suck", but then I thought about why I am doing this...... because... chemo sucks more.
Ready for the 70 miler next week :)

Thai baby!

Soon after I made the decision to train for the century ride in Tahoe, I knew I wasn't going to be able to do this by myself, I would need help. I knew that the staff of LLS was there to help me with fundraising, and that the coaches were there to get me trained, and that the mentors were there to fill in the cracks and keep me headed in the right direction. I also knew that in addition to training for the ride, I needed to get more fit. So, I enlisted the help of a personal trainer. I work out once a week with him and a small group of like-aged ladies, we get good workouts in and have fun at the same time.
Now, I also, know myself very well, and I know I am more than a bit of a klutz, so remaining injury free was through all of this was going to be a bit of a challenge. So, I enlisted the help of a wonderful, beautiful, talented, gentle-spirited Buddhist massage therapist. He has kept me stretched out and my muscles from getting too angry at me from all of the new work I am asking them to do. When I took a tumble off my bike in March, I increased the frequency of my visits from once a month, to every other week. He has patiently worked on the separation of my shoulder (acromioclavicular joint), as well as all of the old crepitis in my neck, ankles and hips.
Rick practices Thai massage. It is really deep work, not for everybody, by 'mybody' really takes well to it. It is sometimes called "Thai yoga massage" and uses muscle compression, joint mobilization, acupressure and yoga like stretches. It is hard for me to describe, but I usually finish the sessions feeling relaxed, a little out of it, but very energized.
After my session today, I found that my shoulder had much more range of motion, and was far less tender than it was the last time Rick worked on it. I am finding that I am getting far fewer leg cramps, and that while my back and shoulders still get tired and sore towards the end of my long rides, each time the discomfort is less than the time before. While part of me wants to say that Rick is a miracle worker, he isn't. He works hard, he knows his stuff, and is able to put his knowledge of the anatomy and his craft to use, and he knows how to best help me. He has provided a safe, relaxing environment. I go into his space, wound up from work, tired, hurting, frustrated with my life, fed up with being pulled in too many directions at one time, with too many things to think about, and way too many things that need to be done. I smell the incense, feel the warmth of the heated pad on the floor where we work, and I find, that when I enter that space, I can allow everything to go away, and I can just ... ... be. And perhaps that, being able to just 'be' is what is making the shoulder more mobile and all of the other improvements to keep happening.
So, my damaged shoulder was able to do a 60 mile ride in the Northwest corner of CT last Saturday, and is looking forward to doing the 65 mile 'Cookie ride" this Saturday.

Good stuff

It's all good. I have said that a million times, heard it a million times, but this time, it seems to really be true. Sure, there is 'stuff' everywhere, in my life and in yours I am sure that is not so good, but overall, the big picture is pretty darned fine.
Last Saturday we did our 49.8 mile ride, against a stiff headwind, which hit us going and coming (how is this possible?). At times, it became a sidewind, which just about blew me off the road and I am no lightweight.
This week, because of our lovely New England weather, and my work schedule, I opted to do the long ride on my own on Friday. Now, I am sure my ride was not as physically challenging as the team ride will be on Sunday, but this was really the first ride I have taken alone, of any distance, and of course on the road. I looked over the routes we have done on the group rides, and I wanted to stay on familiar ground, and of course I wanted to avoid big intersections, and I wanted to only go on roads with good shoulders and after looking at the maps and knowing the roads the way I do, I figured I would end up going up and down my driveway for 55 miles. Knowing that I need to get over my hangups about biking on the road, I set out.
At first, I missed the group calling out the obstacles...there was no one yelling "Grate", "Gravel", and if I yelled it and pointed at the obstacle, no one repeated it after me. It felt like one hand clapping. After a bit, I started to enjoy the quiet. The cars going by were few and far between (morning rides are great), a huge red-tailed hawk landed in a tree right off the road, while there was enough going on around me so I had to keep focused, there was also some time for me to let my mind wander a bit.
My route wandered out to Collinsville, and then up Route 44... had to make a major left hand turn onto route 44.. it took me a minute of sitting on the side of rt 179 before I got up the nerve, but I did it. From there, I went up by Ski Sundown and around the reservoir, back down and back to Collinsville. From there, I came back through Farmington, and did a loop around by the farm, down West Avon Road, around Avon a bit and when I realized I was going to be short by about 10 miles, I went back to Collinsville, trying to make better time on the hills. I did have hills, and like I said, I know my route was not as challenging as the Team will ride tomorrow, but sometimes the mental challenges we face are more significant than the physical ones.
I know that if I am faced with a hill, if worse comes to worse, I can just put my head down and try to power through it, my body can do it. But can my head? Right now, after doing 'my' 52.8 mile ride on my own, the answer is YES. My head can do it too.

What goes up, must, eventually come down.

The laws of physics, we all remember them from our high school days. Physics, gravity... a body in motion tends to stay in motion... what goes up must come down. Last Saturday, our 45 mile ride included route 219. I was actually excited about the thought of the hill, and I thought about how I was going to approach it, how I would gain some momentum at the bottom and when I would drop into my lowest gear, and how I would little by little keep myself going. They say that confession is good for the soul, well, then, I must confess. I have the confidence to know that I can make it up just about any hill that comes my way, but the thought of going down makes me really, really, really scared! While others may get off their bikes and walk up some of the hills, I am afraid I will be walking my bike down the hill!
I have been thinking that I am being irrational, and I tried to figure out just what it is that scares me. Is it the fear of being out of control, or not being able to stop, or of hitting some uneven pavement or crack in the road and taking a header over the handlebars? I have no answer.
The hill came into view shortly after turning off of route 20. There it was in all of it's glory. This devious piece of geography. Devious, because you go up and up and up, and then you think you are done and you go up some more. You feel like you are never done. I kept my mind busy by noticing debris on the side of the road. A beer can, a cigarette package, a stone, one thing at a time, just pedal to that next thing. Finally, after one last effort, I found the road and myself going down. I have to admit a few expletives went through my mind. I don't think I said any out loud, if I did, please forgive me.
One cycling friend told me to sit up, that it would slow me down. I did that. My massage therapist told me to channel my inner 12 year old, I tried to do that. I tried to call out the girl that used to love to take her Flexible Flyer to the sledding hill, or the 14 yr old that used to run her horse at a full gallop across the hay field. Where was she??? Where did she go??? Helllloooo inner child, come out, come out wherever you are! Nothing. Typically, I try to repress my inner kid, keep her in check. I really have tried to mature over the last few years, I have decreased the frequency with which I play practical jokes on my co-workers and we won't even talk about some of the pranks I have pulled at Tyler's baseball games on the other parents. Now that I want that kid to come out and allow me to go down the hill at breakneck speed, I can't find her! I took it easy, I played it safe. I stayed within the comfort zone of the 'mature' adult that I have become. While I didn't get off the bike and walk down, I surely didn't let my little bike computer get up much over 24-25 mph. Pretty good I thought, until I hear "on your left' and zoom and then zoom again. I guess Jen and Ev sure don't have a problem finding their inner kids. Despite my slow and controlled descent, I am thrilled and proud that I made it up the hill without stopping. I kept my pace, and my oh-so-slow cadence. My strategy for going up was a success, my plan for coming down, while not exactly perfect, did help my confidence. Maybe with our next ride, my inner kid will show up and say "Wheeeeeeee" as we fly down a big hill.

A special thanks to our road angels! And a very, very special thanks to everyone who has contributed to my fund raising. The many people that stepped up have touched my heart!

thanks!
Karen

Lets begin at the beginning.

It all started with that little pamphlet I got in the mail. I ignored it the first couple of times it showed up, then it came a third time, and I read it. I tossed it away like the first couple that came, and then it showed up a 4th time, and only a couple of weeks after Tyler, my youngest, set off to college. So, I read it and I figured I could go to the meeting to find out more info. The pamphlet, was from the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society, and it went on and on about being part of a team, and doing athletic events and that they would train me for said events.

Now, there are plenty of groups out there raising money for cancer research and to help patients, but leukemia has always been something that has been close to me. I can remember being a Med Tech intern in Rochester, NY and I can actually tell you the name of the young man (Gary) that showed up in the ER one day with a really (really, really) high WBC. He was in his young 30's (that seemed old from my perspective -- I was 22 at the time), he was a new dad, and he ended up being one of the first bone marrow aspirations that I assisted on. The years rolled by, and I became a 'seasoned' med tech. Day after day, smear after smear, I look at the blood cells from leukemia/lymphoma/myeloma patients and I think "Damn, here is another one". On one level, the science nerd in my loves looking at the cells. They can be so beautiful, big, dark, blue, smooth chromatin, but they also have a 'stormy' or 'angry' look to them, and that sets them apart from the normal cells we see. Every time I see a smear from a leukemia patient, I am taken back to the first patient diagnosed on 'my watch'. And, although treatments have improved and changed, things are still very much the same.

I am tired of it. Not tired of the work, I do love what I do, if I didn't I surely wouldn't have spent the last 30+ years doing it. I am tired of seeing the number of patients that are falling ill to this set of cancers. Adults, children, young, old, men, women etc... the list goes on. I have had friends, and family members affected. And, in all honestly, I am tired of looking at the cells and then moving on to the 'next slide'.

So, I am doing something about it. In November, I joined Team in Training, the largest fundraising arm of the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. I am going to be riding in a Century Cycling event, in Lake Tahoe, NV. I have met some wonderful folks to train with, and some real Heroes who are inspiring me to keep pedaling. To date my fundraising has netted $5,150, and I am not quite done yet. My legs... have pedaled the first few of our training rides and there are many more to come.

Stay tuned for the many 'tales' there are sure to be from the rides!

Namaste!

Karen