Being Bold!

I never thought that I was being bold. That is until the other day, when I was reading the prayer of St. Francis ( often called the Peace Prayer of St. Francis). Yes, I know. Churchy. I am getting churchy. I don't impose my beliefs on anyone, I  just want to lead a good life, and be a good person. And... this one prayer really speaks to me. I can pretty much recall the day in my Catholic elementary school (Blessed Sacrament, on Central Ave, in Albany), when I learned this prayer. And I remember memorizing the words, because back then, if you didn't memorize, Sister Teresa Marie (Sister Teresa Meanie, to me) would come down the row, stop at your desk and startle you with her wooden pointer and call you by last name. Then, you would promptly stand at attention and try not to let her see you shaking as you made your way to the front of the class to let the whole room know that you did not memorize your prayer. So memorize I did! So much that I still remember every word. I may have known the words back in 4th grade, but I didn't fully understand what it all meant. Even now, I still consider myself in the 'learning phase' of life, I am still trying to figure it all out.

The St. Francis prayer asks for strength, the strength to respond to hatred with love, the strength to respond  to sadness with joy, to injury with pardon. You are asking for the strength to respond to someone or something in exactly the opposite way.  You are asking for the strength to give of ourselves to meet the needs of others. Sometimes, as humans we are called upon to bring to our world the opposite of what we find in it. We are asked to treat people the opposite way of how they treat us. Every once in a while, we are asked to turn the world upside down. And, that is a scary business. And, in my opinion, this is quite bold.

My mother would always admonish me when I was being a selfish brat (imagine! me! a selfish brat!), that "it is better to give than to receive". Taking that one step further, in the words of the St. Francis prayer, "it is in giving that we receive", in giving to others we receive peace and blessings a million times over. Yeah. Right.
 Well, yeah. I found it. I saw it, and I felt it. The fundraising, the training, getting ready to go to Tahoe did not prepare me for how much I was going to receive. The support of those around me, and those that were complete strangers really touched my heart. They were thanking me for doing the fundraising and the training, and the ride!  All along, it should have been me thanking them, because I felt like I received what I gave a million times over.
To all of you who have helped with my fundraising  for Tahoe 2010, and 2011 (some of you having done both), thank you for having the strength to give of yourself to meet the needs of others. May you be blessed a million times over!

In case you don't have it memorized, or just need a refresher:

The St. Francis Prayer (or the Peace Prayer of St. Francis)
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy;
O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

Tailwinds,
Karen

Christmas Eve Post

 I think I have this whole Christmas thing figured out. Do all the work early, so when Christmas Eve rolls around you can sit and chill. I am lovin' it. I will cook dinner later on since we won't have family dinner tomorrow because I have to work... and, no, don't feel bad.  It is part of healthcare and I will get time and a half, and hopefully there will be no trauma's. Anyway, back to the Christmas thing. Every year it is the same, the same date, lots of people follow the same traditions, customs, but yet, when it gets here it always seems new. Midnight Mass is always stirring, the stars (if they are out) are a little brighter. Our  hopes for the days to come are maybe a little bit more positive, heck., maybe someday we will really know "Peace on Earth".  Every year, even though Christmas is the same, it is always new exciting and wonderful (as in full of wonder).

Then I started thinking about doing Tahoe again. Will it be as exciting and thrilling as it was last year? Will the dinner be as inspirational? Will I raise as much money? Will I be a better rider? Will I be able to get up the switchbacks faster, do Spooner without stopping a gazillion times to take in the view? Will training be easier? Will I get bored doing the same rides as last year?

Then it hit me! Beginners Mind!  I need my beginners mind! I first learned of Beginners Mind a few years ago in massage school. It made sense to me then, and perhaps it makes even more sense now.

Beginners Mind, or Shoshin (初心) is a Zen Buddhist concept, it means having an attitude or openness, an eagerness, and a lack of preconceived notions when studying a subject.  Even if you are studying at an advanced level, keep your attitude open, see something, experience something as if you have never seen it or experienced it before.

Shunryu Suzuki said it best when he said: In the beginner's mind there are many possibilities, in the expert's mind there are few.


I went down to the cellar and dug out the book from massage school and started to read up on Beginners Mind. I came upon some of the following words, that really put it into perspective for me. Not only in reference to Christmas, riding Tahoe, raising money etc.. but also in reference to starting a New Year.

"So to begin, we must all empty our cups of all the preconceived ideas, concepts, techniques and methods that prevent us from receiving the new. This seems like a simple thing to do, but can be quite difficult in practice. At first we think we are emptying our cups but as we drink from the new knowledge we detect residual tastes of the "old". Sometimes this new mixture can be sweet, like adding honey to tea, but sometimes even a little residue can curdle the whole mix, like adding lemon juice to milk. We must not only empty our cups, but make sure we have a "clean receptacle" so we may taste the "true essence" of the new knowledge". Darren Hansen.

Another aspect of developing the beginners mind revolves around getting rid of the "Been There, Done That" attitude. How many times have you heard that one! Been there, done that, got the T-shirt to prove it. Really now! So, yeah, we have all been there and done that, but did you really see the big picture? Or, did you only see the pieces of the whole?

When it comes to Tahoe, I have been there. I have seen the scenery, ridden the ride. I raised the money. I was inspired and accomplished. I was touched by the number of people out in support of the LLS, and of the number of people that were there in honor or in memory of someone touched by leukemia, lymphoma or myeloma.  When it comes to Tahoe, I have done that. I felt my legs burn getting up the switchbacks, battled the headwind on the way out of Truckee, enjoyed the sandwich at King's Beach and slowly turned the pedals over trying to conquer Spooner and yes, had a scary flat tire on the way down the biggest 'hill' I even want to ride a bike down (thank you very much!).

Yup folks, been there, done that. So this time, I am going to go out there with my cup empty. I am letting go of what last year's ride was like.  Just like this Christmas is a new Christmas. I have that clean receptacle to enjoy this Christmas for what it is, to learn and to experience it with new eyes. I will do the same with Tahoe. I plan on enjoying Tahoe 2011 for what it is, for seeing the big picture, not just the pieces of it I saw last year.I am going to ride Tahoe 2011 (Ambbr 11) with a sense of awe, and a feeling of excitement (much like this Christmas). I will learn or see something new even though I have been there and done that. And.. after my cup is full I will empty it again by drinking deeply and savoring it's wonderful taste.

Enjoy your Christmas with a Beginners Mind.

Peace (hopefully on Earth) and as always .. Tailwinds.
Karen

Pics from the Anniversary Ride :)

Barkhamsted Reservoir

Barkhamsted Reservoir

The long and the short of it... Billy and Keith

Billy and Karen

Pre ride :)

Happy Anniversary Dear Synapse

Bike is officially put away for the winter. Sadness. I miss riding. I really miss being outside.

I guess my last ride, was my last ride (for this year). The Saturday after Thanksgiving was the one year anniversary of my first ride on my new bike, so it seemed only fitting that Bill, Keith and me, would set out and ride the same route we did last year.

That first ride was really special. I had flat pedals, no cages or cleats, I rode in sneakers. I didn't have a bike jacket, I wore one of Tyler's underarmors, a sweatshirt and my "Final Four" windbreaker. I had an old pair of weightlifting gloves that did the job for my hands. I didn't have any real bike shorts, but I did have a pair of knickers with padding that I wore for spin class, so they were what I had to cover my bottom half.

My makeshift bike clothing was only surpassed by my total lack of knowledge about my bike, and biking in general. Bill pulled out his tire pump and asked me if I needed to pump up my tires. My answer... NO! The bike is brand new, I just picked it up from the bike shop the week before, why would I need to pump the tires!?!?!?! I had not yet learned the Team in Training mantra "pump before you ride".

We left the parking area and started out from the parking area in Unionville, and headed out to Collinsville. We stopped at LaSalle Market for tea and muffins, then continued on. The hill on RT 44, heading up 219, going by the turnoff for Ski Sundown, around the Barkhamsted Reservoir, stopping for some pictures, riding back down the other side and back out to 44. We made a second stop at LaSalle and then headed home.

It really struck me how much easier the ride was this year, November 2010, as opposed to November 2009. The hills were easier, I kept up with Bill and Keith (for the most part). I am much more stable on the bike, I know how to shift, I can move over in traffic to take a turn, I can lead a pace line, I know how to draft. And, most importantly, I know how to dress! A lot has changed, and all for the better. What a difference a year makes!

Tailwinds,
Karen

Alfredo's Road to Remission

This post is going to tell you the story of someone other than myself. This person's story reaffirms in me why I am still sitting on this God-awful bike seat (okay so it is not as God-awful as the last one, but still pretty hard), and why I am going to ride Lake Tahoe again this year.
Last weekend, I went to visit NYC with some friends. Our big goal for the day was to have brunch and then hit Junior's in Times Square for a piece of cheesecake. We were successful on both counts. Brunch was great and the cheescake.. OH. MY. GOD. It was an M.O. (and if any of you need to know what an M.O. is ask my friend Marie.. she works for Ortho Clinical Diagnostics and she is the one that coined the phrase). Anyway, my friend Bill had invited his friend Alfredo and his sister Aileen to join us for brunch. Bill knows Alfredo through his wife Cindy who... so on and so on.. lets just say they are family friends. I knew that Alfredo was a survivor and that he was going to run the ING NYC marathon the next day. I was excited about meeting some new people, but not as excited as I was about cheesecake.

Alfredo and Aileen showed up at brunch, we talked about the marathon, and Alfredo's plan for running the race, what kind of time he hoped for etc. Alfredo was running as a member of TNT and he had raised over $12,000! Way to go Alfredo!
Talk eventually turned to the disease that Alfredo is fighting. I asked him how he found out he was sick. His answer was honest, and rather disturbing. It started with a cough. A cough that he thought was just due to a cold or the change of seasons. But when the cough didn't go away, and he started coughing up blood, he knew he needed to check it out. So, he headed home (Wallingford), and they found a tumor the size of a football in his chest and was diagnosed in November of 2008 with Stage IV-B Hodgkins Lymphoma. Stage IV is the most advanced stage of Hodgkins Lymphoma, how could this happen to a 27 year old kid?

Chemotherapy lasted almost a year, and ended with Alfredo getting a stem cell transplant. The only exercise he could do was to take small steps around the hospital floor, IV pole in tow. Eventually the news was good. Alfredo was (and is) in remission. Eventually the small difficult steps became a walk, which turned into a jog, which turned into a run.

Last weekend, on November 7, 2010 Alfredo ran, and finished the ING NYC marathon. Alfredo raised over $12,000 for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. He gave back. He gave back to help others that are fighting now. He gave back so that maybe someday the word 'remission' with be replaced with the word 'cure'.

After Alfredo and Aileen left to go pick up his bib for the marathon and we left to make our way to Junior's, I thought about what an honor it was to meet this young man. A kid with a big wide grin and a warmth and good humor about him. A kid that handled with courage something none of us want to face.

This year, I will ride Tahoe in celebration. In celebration of Alfredo's remission. In celebration of all the strides research has made in fighting blood related cancers. In celebration of my cycle team, because together we can do more than any one of us can do alone. And hopefully, someday, in celebration of a cure.

Tailwinds,
Karen

Long Time, No Blog

It has been ages since I have sat myself down long enough to put a post up here on Talewinds. So here goes... my summer in a nutshell.

Tyler was home from college. Grocery bill went up, toilet was constantly plugged and my house smelled of Axe. All the time. Electric bill went up, water bill went up. The garbage can was always full. He is back at college and I miss having him home. I do not miss his dirty baseball uniform.

Kelly had a blood clot in her lung. Serious. She has recovered, but is on Coumadin. Old peoples medicine. We found that she is a mutant. Or, I should say, she has the Factor V Leiden mutation, which makes her prone to clotting. Not good. No more oral contraceptives or any estrogen based product. She is back in the saddle, riding her horses, rescuing her racehorses, and 'just being' (Kelly).

Matt made an appearance in July. New girlfriend in tow. I like her. I like the him he has grown into. I like her with him. She brings him out of his shell a little bit. To any of you with a son that is mildly defiant, not into school and always does when you say don't.. there is hope. I feel like Matt has become a friend. Mommy likes.

I am still pedaling! Yes!!! Training for a new ride, a FLAT ride! It will be on October 9, and originates in Salisbury, MD. I thought that a FLAT ride would be easy peasy. Hah! Was I wrong or what. Seems as though on FLAT rides you have to pedal the whole time. Coach always joked that Tahoe is 50% downhill (okay so it is 50% uphill), but still, on the downhill you can coast some. On the flat, you pedal. All the time. Anyway, even though it will be a FLAT ride, it is supposed to be very pretty and circles around and out to Asateague Island. I am excited and hope to see some of the ponies. Maybe I can bring one home ;)

Promise to post again soon, about the team and the training.. and oh yes... my plan to do Tahoe again.

Talewinds!

Biked it ~ Liked it

Two sentences (or phrases) sum up the experience.

1. Biked it ~ Liked it!
My bike is a kick ass piece of machinery, and I love it. The area is really, really, really gorgeous. I have never worked so hard, or struggled so much in one day in my life, I have also never felt so accomplished in my life. I can ride up hills... I can ride down hills... although I still really hate riding down hills.

2. GO TEAM!
My team has become like family, and each of us wants to see the others succeed. . We were so supported, by the staff, by each other, by perfect strangers. We were all united... to get closer to a cure, one mile at a time. On an endurance event, support along the way is critical. The cow bells, the signs, the people cheering us on, the man in the SPAM hat, all served to keep me going. One person can't do this alone, but together we can do anything. I really, really, really miss my team. Charryse, Jen, Cathy... I have faith in the future because of the strong young women you are. You amaze me. Viktoria.... you are not only a survivor, you are one tough cookie that showed me age is only a number. Henry, thank you so much for not making me change my own flat tire, and also for understanding when I entered the BM zone (Bite me zone)


What I found...... my strength, my courage, empathy...... when someone has faith in you, it is easier to have faith in yourself.......life is tough, we need to stick together.....Spooner is done, stick a fork in it........challenge yourself, you might be surprised at the outcome.

We will find a cure for these cancers, someday, we have to.

On to the next adventure... Seagull Century in Maryland, in October. Stay tuned.